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Life Of A Ryde 6

Concepta comes to Waterford

Isn’t it nice when people visit ya from home. Like as much as I love Waterford, it’s lovely to hear a Northside Dublin accent every now and again and ya don’t really get much more Northside Dublin than me friend Concepta.

We’ve been friends for a long time, it must be since about 5th class in school, and the thing that always stood out for me about Concepta is that she was always a big girl. Well up until she went Weight Watchers crazy with me ma and ended up losin’ a load of weight. The thing is though, over the years I realised her heart never got any smaller. No one tell her I said that. She’s looked after me over the years be it makin’ sure I got home alright from a night out or injurin’ all the other competitors so I could win Miss Finglas 2006.

Anyway, I get a phone call there last week from Concepta herself sayin’ that she had a bit of time off work and she was gonna come and visit me and clearly I had no objection and was lookin’ forward to a bit of laugh. I head over to the train station and I see her walkin’ out and then I see her 2 suitcases and I’m wonderin’ where in the name of all that is holy is this one goin’ with 2 suitcases although she hands me a bottle of vodka as a way to say thanks for lettin’ her come and all is forgotten as we drive back to my place.

We did all the touristy stuff the first day or 2. I brought her out to the beach in Tramore and we went to see the Bishop’s Palace and Reggie’s Tower and the Waterford Crystal which she said was “A lovely bit of glass” and let’s not lie, it is. We hit the clubs in the night time and Concepta met a group of American tourists in Mason’s who invited us to Idaho whenever we want which was lovely of them, although I haven’t a breeze where that is.

The 3rd night she was here there was killin’s! We’d been in The Foundry gettin’ into a state I can’t even begin to describe in a family publication and head home after gettin’ a bite to eat and fall asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow. Now Concepta had to share my double bed coz there was no room and I wake up and suddenly realise I’m soakin’ wet and jump up, knockin’ Concepta out of the bed and start shoutin’ at her, sayin’ how disgusted I was she wet the bed and I start pullin’ the sheets off and I’m still shoutin’ and she lifts up the hot water bottle and says “The cap came off” and I stop to think about it for a minute but there’s still the tinyiest bit of doubt in mind so I just slept on the couch.

I wouldn’t mind but a week and a half later and she’s still here.

 

Life Of A Ryde appears every week in The Munster Express

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