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I took a Delta Airlines flight to Atlanta and then got a connection to Orlando. There was a film about windscreen wipers on when I was goin’ over which was kinda good. For the life of me I can’t remember what it was called.
Well Aliy, me nutritionalist, was already stayin’ in a motel by the time I got over so I just stayed with her. Now the thing is, her whole plan was to move to America so she was there gettin’ herself sorted although needless to say, as soon as I got there, that was forgotten. Believe it or not, it was actually a Travelodge we were stayin’ in although nothing like the ones at home. It was cheap and there was a pool although I never had a chance to use it. The jaxx was small and basic but there was a safe. There’s loads of places to stay in Orlando. You’re best on International Drive but it’s very touristy. There’s loads of posh hotels down near the convention centre and the hotel named after Paris’s cousin, Orlando Hilton. Ya could stay in one of the 750 hotels in Disney World which are handy for gettin’ to the parks although listenin’ to The Little Mermaid soundtrack over and over again can get a bit scary at the best of times.
I can confirm here and now that America makes ya fat. There’s McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s, Pizza Hut, KFC, Taco Bell, Subway, Denny’s, I-Hop and loads more and I ended up in one or the other at some point. CiCi’s on I-Drive do the $5.99 buffit and I was very well of it, especially the desert. Obviously coz you’re in theme parks a lot in Orlando ya have to eat there. You’re best off bein’ as cheap and cheerful as ya can be when ya know they’re rippin’ ya off. They have these cinnamon things called churros that I got addicted to. They’re only the image of mafis. Mars Bars are called Milky Ways in America which is real confusin’. Smarties are these dusty kinda sweets. I didn’t know what to be gettin’ in 7 Eleven.
Believe it or not, as strange as it is for me to say this, Orlando really isn’t a drinkin’ holiday. Like by the time ya get back from the theme parks ya do only be fit for bed. If ya do want to drink, there’s loads of pubs on I-Drive, mainly shite Irish and British bars showin’ football matches ya don’t really want to see. West Ham and Blackburn me arse. Believe it or not, there’s clubs in Downtown Disney and Universal CityWalk but if ya really want to wreck it ya have to go all the way to Downtown Orlando and that’s like 40 dollars back in a taxi to I-Drive and god knows how much to Disney. I didn’t ask.
Well this is Orlando so obviously the thing to see is theme parks. There’s 4 in Disney as well as their 2 water parks. Magic Kingdom is the main park and the one with the castle. There’s 7 lands and make sure ya see Mickeys Philharmonic in Fantasyland. It’s done very well and there’s a few of your favourite Disney songs in there. Splash Mountain is good fun as well but ya’ll get wet. Epcot is like this sciencey kinda park with a big ball in it. Mission Space is very good and Turtle Talk With Crush is gas. Make sure ya see it coz it’s mental how the cartoon talks to people. Hollywood Studios is actually the very first park we went to and we were awfully well of Aerosmith and the Tower Of Terror. There’s loads of shows as well and it’s very chilled out. Animal Kingdom is the last of the Disney parks and it’s like a big zoo with rides in it. Expedition Everest is by far the best ride in the park. Go on it at least twice. Other than Disney, there’s Universal and they have 2 parks. The Studios was alright but some of the stuff is a bit old at this stage. The Mummy is the best ride that we went on in Orlando. Next door at Islands of Adventure there’s 5 lands includin’ Jurassic Park which I loved. They’ve 2 huge rollercoasters, Hulk and The Duelin’ Dragons. Make sure ya do the Dr Doom ride. Me knickers were nearly soaked with the fear. Spiderman is done very well. Other than the parks, there’s always the shoppin’. There’s the Florida Mall or the Premium Outlets where ya’ll get everythin’ ya need. They love mini golf in Orlando.
Oh, just to let yiz know, Aliy decided Orlando wasn’t for her and got the plane home with me. She now plans on movin’ to Tramore.
