
Me and me Turkish mate Yenta got a flight on Cityjet to Paris, then Air France to Johannesburg and South African Airways to Durban. Needless to say, we weren’t well of all the travellin’!
We were very lucky in the sense that Yenta’s Aunty Jemima lives in South Africa in this place called Berea in Durban so that’s where we stayed. The house was only mafis and meself and Bernie had a wing all to ourselves. No word of a lie, a wing. Berea’s one of the posh parts of Durban so it’s very safe. If ya don’t have a South African aunt, there’s loads of places to stay like the posh hotels near the Conference Centre or at the beach or ya could always stay in Umhlanga which is Durban’s version of Bray.
Well ya can’t come to Durban and not have a Durban curry. It’s only mafis and in fairness, all the Indian food does be only lovely. I had a lot of it. I also had the runs a lot but at least I know why. The Roma revolving restaurant is lovely and it really does revolve coz at first I just thought I had too much wine. It’s on top of this big high building and all. There’s some lovely spots on Wilsons Wharf as well and ya could always go to Steers which is like the South African version of Supermacs although it’s nicer and a lot cheaper like all the food in South Africa.
Zack’s on Wilsons Wharf is one of them trendy places where the celebs do go but seein’ as I know no South African celebs, I could have been chattin’ to their version of Blathnaid Ni Chofaigh and not noticed. Joe Cools on the beach is lovely for the cocktails and I was awfully well of it. One thing to point out is that drink in South Africa is far cheaper than anywhere else I’ve ever been. Like a bottle of Smirnoff Ice is a euro! Sure I was locked on a tenner!
There’s loads to do in Durban and I never once got bored and I was there for 2 weeks. There’s the Golden Mile which is this lovely beach and meself and Yenta got lovely tans although it was very hot. There’s a beach in Umhlanga too but let’s not lie, we went for Gateway which is the biggest shoppin’ centre in the southern hemisphere, whatever a hemisphere is. It’s huge this place and has everythin’ in it and everythin’ is dirt cheap so I brought back loads. There’s Ushaka Marine World which has SeaWorld and Wet N Wild and that’s great fun, especially if ya like bein’ wet. Suncoast Casino is great for the bit of gamblin’ and I’m not talkin’ Paddy Powers. I felt very underdressed in there. Florida Road is somewhere ya have to go and the ABSA stadium to see a rugby match. Ya can’t come to South Africa and not go to a game park to see all the animals. I thought a game park was where ya went to play hide and seek. I was wrong. Elephants are deadly. Monkeys are gas.
Don’t go near Point Road on your own. It’s like Sheriff Street only worse. Go go-kartin’ on the roof of Gateway. It’s great craic. The cinemas are in English and it’s about €2 for a film or whatever that is in rand. I was callin' it randy for a week and half before someone told me otherwise.