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Me and an ex who I won’t name for legal reasons took a Ryanair flight to Beauvais which is a shed near Belgium and not in Paris despite what they tell ya.
Well after a trek halfway across France from the airport and through Paris, we got to our hotel, the Hotel St Augustin in Montemarte which is kinda like the arty part of the city. It’s near the Sacre Cour and then there’s Pigalle which is the red light district. Are ya well of me rememberin’ the bit of French? I did it for me Junior Cert. The hotel was a bit poxy to be honest. We were on the 5th floor and there was no lift so we were a bit wrecked with all the walkin’, not that that bollix of an ex cared. There wasn’t even a mini-bar. Montemarte was a good bit of laugh though coz I spent most of me time that I was in the room lookin’ out at prostitutes gettin’ picked up. Clearly the telly was broke too.
There’s always somewhere to eat in Paris. Not that the bollix brought me to any fancy restaurants. Nothin’ like in Ratatouille or anythin’! They eat mad shite in France like snails and goose which I obviously wasn’t that well of so for me it was either McDonalds or crepes which is French for pancakes. They’re only mafis and they do be huge and warm and ya do just keep wantin’ more. Very well of it. Croissants are what French people eat for breakfast. There’s nice restaurants in Montemarte where we were stayin’. We didn’t go to any.
There’s loads of little bars and pubs around Paris but drink can be a bit dear to be honest, even more expensive than Dublin and that’s sayin’ somethin’. Club Barrio Latino in Bastille is great craic and we were givin’ it loads to all the mad Shakira music thinkin’ we were only mafis. That prick that brought me wasn’t. The Marais is the gay district in Paris and its real gay and European. We didn’t go there. There’s real expensive places too like Moulin Rouge or Follies Pigalle where ya can watch the shows while ya eat and drink. The red light district is unreal for prices. Ya do get robbed. Although not me. Who’d rob me?
There’s actually loads in Paris and it does be hard to fit it all in. There’s all the sights like the Arc De Triomphe, Notre Dame and the Louvre. Go and see the Mona Lisa. It’s smaller than on telly. Go up the Eiffel Tower. It well worth it although don’t throw anything off it or you’ll get thrown out. Obviously my favourite thing about Paris is Disneyland. Now in fairness, it’s obviously not as warm as Florida or California but there’s more indoors, especially in the Disney Studios park. Disney Village is outside the parks and there’s loads of shops and restaurants. Everything is mostly in French though which can be a bit crap, even if ya did it for your junior cert.
Don’t drink the tap water no matter what anyone tells ya. Don’t throw things off the Eiffel Tower, especially small dogs!
