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Joanna Ryde on holiday in St Julians

St Julians

Malta

Meself and Charmin took a mid week break to Malta although it was December so it wasn’t far from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. We flew with Ryanair for €50 return each which was deadly.

 

WHERE TO STAY

We stayed in the La Valette Apartments in St Juliens right around the corner from Paceville which is actually pronounced patchy-ville as we got told every time we said pace. Pace is in Meath. The funny and kinda scary thing was that we were the only people stayin’ in this huge apartment buildin’ although I believe it does be packed in the summer. The pool wasn’t open but then again, we didn’t really get the weather for swimmin’.

 

WHERE TO EAT

Meself and Charmin actually enjoyed findin’ places to eat although in fairness, we did enough of it. I was awfully well of Bay Street Shoppin’ Centre coz there was Hard Rock and a place called Mozerella and I did a lot of eatin’ there. We found little restaurants everywhere we went. There’s nice places along the beach in Sliema. I’m givin’ yiz all this bit of a warnin’ now and yiz all better heed it. MALTESERS EAT RABBIT! No word of a lie. It’ll be on every menu ya see. And I wouldn’t eat Malteese sausage either. Malteesers were invented in Malta.

 

WHERE TO DRINK

Right outside the door in Paceville ya find the best nightclubs on the island. There’s Vodka where all they sell is vodka. There’s every type ya can think of and I thought there was only Smirnoff, Boru, Absolute and cheap Tesco brand. Madness. Footloose is another place we enjoyed and there was the place with the dancin’ on the bar like Coyote Ugly that I can’t remember the name of, mainly coz of what I drank every night in that Vodka place. Oh there’s a gay place called Klozet. It looked like one.

 

WHAT TO DO

Well there’s the odd thing to do in Malta. We went to the marine park which was surprisingly open despite it bein’ December. Charmin made friends with a sealion called Dana. We went into Valetta as well which is the capital of Malta and they have these really old buses, older than in Galway and they’re yellow. I was even interested in learnin’ the history and all. The poor Malteesers got invaded by everyone. Sliema is the main shoppin’ area but don’t get carried away. It’s hardly Henry Street. Bay Street is alright for pickin’ up the few bits as well. Most people speak English which is more than I could in that Vodka place!

 

OTHER TIPS

Whatever ya do, don’t eat rabbit. Oh and don’t try to walk home from Valetta!

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