 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
||||||||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
||||||
Me and Gloria Holle got an Aer Lingus flight on the internet to Zurich real cheap. And then we got on the plane and went there.
We ended up stayin’ in a place called the Hotel Goldenes Schwertz which is the only gay hotel in Switzerland, although why we ended up in a gay hotel is beyond me. I’m surrounded by gays enough as it is! The fella checkin’ us in, a chap by the name of Stefan who said “Oh ja” a lot, was not only very Swiss but very gay as well. Like VERY gay and Swiss. There’s no one I could compare him to. Imagine Graham Norton from Basel and ya’d get the idea. The place was nice enough only the shower was in the bedroom, like literally in the bedroom (see Gaffs episode 8 and you’ll know what I’m on about) and the jaxx was in the hallway. It was very weird altogether. The curtains were on the outside too which freaked the bejayzis out of me.
Well I won’t lie, we went to McDonalds the first night we got there, mainly coz I was starving and couldn’t be arsed lookin’ for anywhere else. There’s a few nice restaurants near where we were stayin’ but I haven’t a breeze of German and let’s not lie, person most likely to end up eatin’ pigs mickey without even knowin’. I wouldn’t be well of that. We had kebabs as well and they were lovely although not what ya’d get in Abrakebabra. We went to some form of a Switzerlandish Londis and got a few rolls for the room, although we never got a knife so had to butter it with our fingers which wasn’t nice. I don’t be well of a buttery finger.
Well the place we’re stayin’ in has a gay bar and 2 gay clubs. Awfully gay and Swiss, now I won’t lie. We had a bit of laugh and Gloria got locked. Little did I know that we’re stayin’ in the red light district so there’s like all these sex shows goin’ on everywhere. Thank god we didn’t go inside or I wouldn’t have known where to look. Actually lets’ be honest, I’d be pushin’ some Swiss slapper out of the way for a shot of her window. I’m sure there’s some form of Irish bar around too but me arse to that. Diddly eye me arse.
To be honest, I was expectin’ the entire place to be covered in snow so I was a bit surprised that it wasn’t. The place is very clean. It’s very quiet as well, especially of a Sunday which scared the shite out of me and Gloria coz we thought everyone had been ejaculated without tellin us. The shops even close of a Sunday which is just backward no matter what bleedin’ country you’re in. There’s the sights and that, mainly the old town and the few churches and there’s a little park called Lindenhof where ya can look down over the old town for the bit of a view. It’s hardly the London Eye but it’s nice. We were goin’ to go to a chocolate factory but I’m already a fat bitch so thought it best not to. We went to the Swiss museum as well which was beside a train station and that was very Swiss. I was ragin’ there was nothing about the plague though. As I said, the shops do close of a Sunday so we never bothered goin’ to that Bahnhof Strasse place. No point really. Not that we could afford it and in anyway, me ma got me Chanel stuff a lot cheaper in Kusadasi. That’s in Turkey. Yeah. Nothing to do.
Zurich is cold. Bring a nice warm hat. Bring your walkin’ Nikes. Ya do walk a bit. If ya want to buy some nuts, there’s loads. Mad about the nuts are the Zurichins. Keep an eye out for your one that sits outside Starbucks eatin’ all day. Severe amount of steps in Zurich. Lesbeings beware.
